Originally Posted by
effortjoy 
...Because here is what is becoming clearer to me every day: I hate not drinking. I hate coping with life "normally" without ever having an escape. And the truth is that I realized that despite all that I do for my family and for my work, my deepest yearning is simply to get away from myself...
Congratulations. You are now beginning to see why Recovery involves so much more than not drinking/using. Now that you have the substance out of your body you need to move on to getting it out of your mind. What you need now is new coping skills that allow you to feel "comfortable in your own skin".
A daily program of action will allow you to escape from the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" without the need of a substance.