In addition to being totally abstinent, i stopped believing what my thoughts and feelings were telling me about myself. i was asked by a person in the fellowship, "Would you trust anything an insane person is telling you?". i replied, "NO!", to which he replied, "Then why are you believing what you are telling yourself about yourself?". The need to begin a process of recovery, based on the 12 Steps & 12 Traditions, became very apparent!! i also needed to develope faith and hope for myself that i could heal if i made a daily effort to live this new way of life. This is how i learned to make my recovery personal and keep moving forward. For 3 years, 6 months, & 28 days; it has worked beyond my wildest dreams!! Fear, doubt, and self pity have left the building!! Their memberships to my life have been revoked!! i'm not perfect and i would not trade the progress i have made so far for anything or anyone ever again!!
i hope that you will not take that first drink or drug today and stay the course.