Trish, you aren't the first and won't be the last to struggle with different aspects of the 12-Step program. Rather than talk yourself out of it because the steps didn't work before, or you don't believe in a higher power, why not just go with an open mind? What have you got to lose? You've been making great strides in your recovery, and you might be surprised by what you come away with this time.
Whatever you decide, I'm behind you.