Originally Posted by
cherrie1 
teke
Thanks so much for writing this. It is wonderful to hear you are doing well. I am sure it is a daily struggle sometimes. My son is my addict and as a mother am trying to understand how an addicts mind works. I truly believe no one really wants to live like that. You were lucky your bottom came before legal troubles but like you said everyone's bottom is different. My son is in jail now and going to be sent to a rehab for a year. He has been through several expensive ones and we can not afford to help anymore. He knows what he has to do. Before this relapse he was clean for a year. I have a hard time trying to understand how when things finally got good for him, good job, nice apartment, good support group he could go back to using. Even he says he doesn't know other than the fact he stopped doing what he should be doing.
Just curious did you end up in a rehab or stop on your own?
i honesty couldn't do it on my own, i tried many many times. i went through 5 or 6 rehabs and detox, eventually relapsing until the last time. once i was 9yrs sober then relapsed,5yrs then relapsed and now i'm at 7yr. its is so easy to relapse. just out of the blue sometimes i still get that thought to use but so far i've been immediately reminded of my bottom days. i have to keep myself aware of my addiction by doing things that would keep me focused. it took for me to change friends, avoid places and even things that could wake up my addiction and catch me off guard, go to and participate in meetings. there have been times that i would find myself using before i realized i was using. thats how hard it was for me.
i'm glad to see that your son is gonna be going to rehab. the longer they stay, the better chance they have. even then its up to him. i think he has to find himself in a place where its a do or die situation for him. i think he too is one of the lucky ones. even though he's in jail, he has a chance to make it out before death. thats where i was lucky at,too. i didn't die out there. each time i stopped using and began doing the next best things, my life would get better, but it can only take one slip and addiction don't start over, it takes up where it left off.
imo,its ok that you can't afford to send him to one of those expensive resort kind of rehabs, most of them basically have the same principals and tools.the first time i went to rehab, i learned the tools and how to use them but the hardest part was being consistent in using the tools and noone could help me with that, encourage me enough to do it, it was something i had to do own my own and because i wanted it.
i nor was my family could afford to help me get in to rehab, i had to fine my own way into the state run rehabs. that was ok though, if they had told me that i had to spin around 3 times after i touched the moon to get sober and stay sober, i was so mess up and desperate i would have been trying to figure out which direction was i suppose to spin after i touch the moon. trust me, its ok to let go and let him find his own way. he'll be grateful that you did in the end, i know i was.
i'm praying that this will be your son's time to be committed to staying his couse and praying for strength for you.