My sympathies, Jadmack. I can imagine how you feel. You loved this man at one time, he abused your love, but still he held a place in your heart. I don't know if your bad memories will ever fade. Maybe one day you can pray for that to happen, now that he is gone. Blessings to your family to be free of his pain also, Jadmack. I'm happy for you, while understanding the "what if" thoughts you are experiencing. It's probably perfectly normal and part of the grieving process, so I say just let it wash over you and through you, and take one day or one moment at a time right now. Hugs and prayers
