Welcome LandLord,
Drinking borrows from the future, at a great cost, for a moment of comfort. Eventualy, the comfort from drinking ends, and it's all hell. There comes a time for all alcoholics when the drinking is no longer for pleasure...it becomes a compulsive behaviour over which we have no control. The fact that you have a drink in front of you when you decided not to drink this evening might prove that you are powerless over alcohol.
It's progressive, and at your stage, you might be able to quit. It would be a very good idea for you to quit drinking and abstain. The end results of active alcoholism are always:
-Death
-Jail
-Hospitial or Institution
Some hit one of these three destinations before others, but everyone who is an active alcoholic will hit one of them if he/she continues to drink. This has been proven time and time again...ever since man first crushed grapes.
An alcoholic has an allergy to alcohol. The "reaction" is obsessive thinking about drinking, an insane urge for destructive drinking, and compulsive drinking. The only way to combat this is to stay away from the first drink.
Do you want to give up the booze? If so, this website lists many resources at your disposal to help you out.
If I were you, I'd put down the drink. I'd try to forget the x-girlfriend, and try to find something healthy to focus on. Exercise or a hobby might be helpful.
chip