Sooner or later you will find someone you can relate to. In my opinion only. for alanons I don't think you have to make a big production of working the steps. aDon't let anyone push stuff on you you don't want to do- it will make you resentful. By just lisening you can learn a lot. At the alanon meeting here, you can nev er get a chance to speak-really many old timers sharing-which is good for a beginner. dax