Thank you all for your replies and prayers. I am still trying to take in all the advice and step back and take a look at my life, my wants, and my needs. I've bought several al-anon books ("One day at a time in Al-anon" and "Courage to Change")and they are so amazing. I was also starting to read "Co-dependant No More" but got side tracked with all the other books I got
I'm still not sure on what boundaries I am going to set for myself. I am gonna take hello-kitty's suggestion by writing them down. I have been carrying a notebook around to put my thoughts down which seems to help me a bit. You guys are right about not threatining to end things or kick someone out unless you are really going to DO it. I am not ready to do those things...yet. I have found that when I do make those empty threats it really hurts me, my husband, and our marriage. I am known for blowing up and being somewhat verbaly abusive at times towards my husband and I think it has been a way for me to "get back" at him and I am trying to learn and control what I say which has been a two steps forward THREE steps back kinda thing for me but I am glad I am more aware of the things I've been doing.
I'm still very unsure about many things in my marriage all I know is that I do love my husband and I wish the best for him. I have a lot of things to work on. Thank you guys again.