I need help.
Where to begin... I'm 20 years old and haven't been sober for longer than a week since I've been 16. It started off just on weekends but now its a rarity to be sober even 1 day of the week. I have always struggled with depression and anxiety, and alcohol has helped me to relax and be at ease.
I live in a small town in Wisconsin where nobody does anything except drink, thus making it very difficult not to. I'm not financially or even emotionally stable enough to live on my own at the moment so moving away is not really an option. I used to be so full of life and energy but now it seems everything I do hurts myself and those around me. I can't be in a relationship for longer than a month and my only friends are "drinking buddies". I cant remember the last time I hung out with a friend to do something sober. My family really doesn't realize I have this problem, they think that I'm a typical 20 year old that goes out to the occasional party. But the truth is it has become an everyday thing.
I really want to quit drinking, I want to get back in shape, start reading more, pick up my guitar, and go back to school. I want to meet other people who can be real friends and support my sobriety. I called the doctors office this morning but can not be seen until next week. I have tried quitting before but after two days of cold sweats and paranoid thoughts I have to give in.