just venting
!!!!urgh!!!!!
I just don't know how much more I can take. How can I sort through all these feelings of anger, frustration, rejection, lonilness, and hurt. My A took off last night to the casino (like he needs another addiction now right!), just came home at 4:30 am and leaves me a note. Went back to the casino with Joe. Who's he kidding?! Joe is his using buddy. They get a motel and get high all night, or day. Does he think he's fooling me? Should I believe him when he keeps telling me that he's going to get help? I don't want to leave, yet feel like he's pushing me away. He was clean when I met him. I MISS the old person I fell in love with. I don't understand the lure of the coke. I've never been there. How do I just keep going and hanging in there? Sometimes I just get so tired of feeling this confused, I just want to give up on him, but my heart just won't let go. I just want to knock some sense into him. I hate feeling this way.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Lisa