Thanks- you don't know what it means to be able to talk to people who don't act like I have three heads or something. While I know in my mind that I'm a better person sober, there's still the evil little guy on my shoulder, reminding me of how much better it felt when I was high. I loved it... does that seem weird? I've never really talked with anyone who's recovering, so I don't know if the way I feel is normal, and if so, am I going to have to deal with it every time something goes wrong in my life? This is so hard- I can't remember anything except the loss of my grandmother that was as hard as not picking up the phone tonight... I'm glad I found people who would listen... thanks