That's interesting that you miss being high. I almost never miss that because I think drinking was just a way to escape pain, phyisical and emotional, for me. When I eventually was properly treated for depression, I don't have a desire to 'escape' much anymore. Also, I think one reason most of us are happy to be sober is because our lives were such a mess when we were drinking/using! Is it possible that you are depressed because of the loss of job/boyfriend? Perhaps this is just a tough time in your life that you need to get through. Sometimes the most growth comes of out times that are the hardest.
Love, Anna