In the middle of last week, my xAGF's son (14) and my daughter (13) conspired to go give my xAGF a real dose of reality. At the time I thought they were acting indendently.... come to find out it was part of what they would call their "evil genius plan."
My xAGF's son told his mother in no uncertain terms... via text messages... that he did not want to live with her and that he did not feel safe with her. When my xAGF asked him why, he texted back, "because you are mentally unstable, you are an alcoholic, and a drug addict... you yell and scream at me. Why would I want to live with that?"
My daughter followed up 2 hours later with an e-mail that I posted here.
And we think kids don't know... but they know SO much and have wisdom we will never understand.
Perhaps hearing that from her own son was a form of bottom for her... but I got this in a rather lengthy e-mail from her.
"The reason that I wanted to pull [take] the children was due to how irrational you were reacting , but when I got to see how I manipulated ,lied and deceived and participated with the "game" I finally understood, why.
"There is so much wreckage to work on, and this is the disease of distraction and I really do need the time and consider it a wonderful gift today.
"Thank You for caring for me and the children, Thank you for the times that we had , Thank you for trying to do everything you knew at the time to help me find happiness even to the point of bankruptcy spiritually emotionally and financially.
"I am sorry for so much, and know my work has just begun.. the cloud in
my head is just lifting and will need time to rework step 4 to do it right."
This was the first communication ever from her in which she did not blame me for anything.
She has agreed to let the kids stay with me for the indefinite future while she works on herself.
God + kids + courage + honesty..... sometimes it seems miracles do happen.
Is she "better?" No. But this is the first sign that she is coming back to something that resembles reality and may be actually embracing recovery.
Now... back to working on my side of the street.