Thread: AA and sponsors
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Old 08-15-2009, 09:44 AM
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Blake'sTyger
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Southern California
Posts: 174
Hi Staysober!

I know exactly what you mean. My resistance to getting a real sponsor led me to a) sponsor myself, then b) co-sponsor with another newcomer on this site. Though that other newcomer is now gone and I miss my correspondence with her, both attempts at quasi-sponsorship were HORRIBLE ideas.

It's important to get a sponsor-- mine is sometimes the only thing that keeps me in the program.

I have two suggestions/ideas for you:

a) Share in a meeting about how you're feeling. By that I mean say just what you said here-- SHARE that you're looking for a sponsor, but have a tough time approaching people. SHARE that you're worried about wasting someone's time. If you put yourself out there even that much, and people know you're looking for a sponsor; a willing and able person just might show themselves. Just put it out there that you need a sponsor.

b) Read the twelfth step carefully. Now, I'm not nearly there; but it has been explained to me that helping another alcoholic isn't just meant to help the helpee stay sober- it helps the helper to stay sober as well. Helping others is just part of the program. Being of service, as they say.

I think if you are open and honest, you'll find a lot of the people in the rooms are more friendly, willing, and available than we shy people are initially apt to realize.

Good luck! I hope you find someone great to work the steps with.

All the best,

David
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