Welcome to SR. You have found a GREAT place with lots of good information and many folks with lots and lots of Experience, Strength, and Hope (ES&H).
I cannot say if you are an alcoholic or not, however, since you say there is alcoholism in your family, if I were you I would be very cautious in when I drank and how much.
Since you are questioning whether you do have a problem or not, why not try an experiment? How about not drinking any alcoholic beverage for 30 days. See if you can do that, see how you feel, see if you get restless and discontent or not. IF you are honest with yourself and evaluate those 30 days without alcohol you will have a better idea whether alcohol is becoming a problem for you. Apparently it is a problem for your partner.
Check around this site, read the 'stickys' at the tops of different forums, read the threads, there is lots of information for you to evaluate whether alcohol is a probelm for you or not.
Hope the above helps a bit.
Love and hugs,