Hi searching4help.
Welcome to SR
The bad news is, in my opinion, noone else - not even yr partner - can diagnose for you whether you have a problem or not.
The burning question is do
you think you have a problem?
You've already identified several areas of concern for yourself - you sometimes drink to excess, sometimes black out and pass out, sometimes put yourself in embarrassing situations, you drank more in the 'party house', and you come from an alcoholic family.
From what I'm reading here - after taking all that into consideration, and your partners criticism, you don't think you do have a problem.
There's not one of us here that can tell you you're wrong.
There are tests available that when answered honestly can suggest whether you may have a problem. This is a famous 20 question alcohol test.
Michigan Alcohol Screening Test (MAST), Revised
I suggest you take it and see what the results are. At the very least, it might serve as a pointer for you.
You could also try not drinking for a period (30 days is good, 60 or 90 days might be better seeing as you can already go extended periods without drinking) and see if you can manage that, and determine whether not drinking brings you any discomfort ?
I wish you the best in working this out
D