I must say I am a bit nevous to post my question...but here goes!
I am currently about three and a half months sober and in AA. Even in the short time, my life has been restored to more normalcy (and a better, more honest life than I have had in the last five years, since I had begun drinking).
I am enormously grateful to God and AA and all the people (in the program and my family) for their support and patience. Overall, I feel like I have had a decent time in early sobriety (few cravings, a reconnection to God and others, a growing sanity etc...).
And, here's my however. No matter how much I pray or force myself to do it (i.e. 'the 90 lb phone'), picking up the phone (other than with a few women I have become friendly with in AA and my sponsor) causes a lot of anxiety. My sponsor's suggestion is that I call 2-3 people every day (whether I am having an issue or not). I realize that this builds relationships, gets me out of myself, allows me to connect to other alcoholics and will help when really tough times hit etc...but it feels very awkward (especially to call someone and have a bit of a fit that my feet hurt after work). I usually say something to my sponsor or talk to my family (with whom I am very close).
The thing is is that I go to meetings regularly (speak to people, help out etc..), speak to my sponsor regularly and am working on the Steps...but I occaisionally (1-2 times a week) do fellowship and call (or text) another alcoholic 3-5 times a week.
I only mention all of this because my sponsor is very big on the phone call to others thing (daily) and a lot of fellowship. And I am having trouble with this (praying that I would be more willing to be willing to take the suggestion, if that makes sense). Anyway, I feel like all of this is taking up a lot of psychic energy. Otherwise, things are peaceful and I am very grateful.
Anyway, thanks for listening (this ended up much longer than expected). I realize this may seem like a petty thing, but it is driving me a little crazy.
Blessings and peace
