Originally Posted by
tiburon88 
Yes mcdog I do get down on myself quite a bit. Which is why the "tough love" approach has never helped me and only made me feel worse. I reduced my beer intake to 0 but have continued to take my Klonopin as the doc prescribed.
Many that post to me love to bash and criticize me. The truth is I know more about sobriety then them. I simply just don't use what I know. I have been to treatment between 5-7 times. Sometimes court ordered and sometimes on my own. I've sat through hundreds of AA meetings and thats why I feel that AA somehow owes me. AA since 2004 and I'm still drunk yeah thats quite a success story! Maybe they can put my story in the next Big Book edition!
Mr. Tiburon
That sounds a lot like me. I know alot about staying clean and sober, but I've always viewed it more like a study, than a life threatening condition. My ex is in the addiction treatment field, so I learned lots through her, been to treatment a couple of times, seen many councilors, been here for ages, but have never been very good at putting all of that knowledge into action, the last, but most important step!!
I have absolutely nothing against AA. It wasn't for me personally, so I no longer go. However I have nothing but respect for the program. I have stopped my pot use (my primary DOC) and cut way back on the drinking, but I still understand that it needs to stop completely.
So I kinda understand where you are coming from Tib. You are so angry at yourself that you can't take anymore, so you lash out at whatever is convienent. Doctors, AA, people who say things you don't like. I've been there. I don't have a whole lot of advice to offer, as I'm still very much a "work in progress" myself. All I can say, and you obviously know this already, is that only you can do this. All the doctors, SR support, AA meetings, whatever, in the world can only help. You are still the one who has to do it. Somewhere inside you there is a part that really does want to be sober, otherwise you wouldn't be wasting your time here. Try to find that part and nurture it as best you can.
By the way, congrats on the 0 beers a day. That is huge!! Take care.