milton..today is the first day of the rest of your life!! Everything you are feeling emotionally is what I felt when I stopped drinking. Its normal to feel these feeling.....this is the stuff we drank on, to escape from but it does not work. What will you do differently this time?? counsiller, meeting,,,,something. You shold try find a safe place now to share whats going on. somewhere that you will be understood, somewhere where you will get support and feedback. Also do go to your doctor for a full check up to ease your mind. Then you have one less worry