It doesn't give me any hope that IF AH does ever get sober will there be room in his life for ME?
Would love to hear from others that have are going through recovery.
I guess that depends on the alcoholic. When I told my fiance "yes" I will marry you, he had just over 3 years sober.... I made that decision knowing that he goes to a meeting everyday, that when he does not go to meetings (and even when he does) he comes to SR for recovery, reads books, reaches out to others, works with his sponsee's, talks to his sponsor.... ETC....
I was concerned about his life revolving around AA and I was also concerned about my being a normie and how that would work...
So..... here is what I have learned. 1. Im not a normie, Im co-dependant and I have to work a program too. 2. That this is the man I fell in love with and if it takes him all that to stay sober and be the great person I know.... well then that is what it takes.... and we will be just fine. 3. That when you love someone there is always time made for that person. 4. That if I cant be myself and be loved, or if he cant be himself and be loved then it is just not the right relationship.
All the what if's, but's, etc..... are not worth my time worrying about.... I try to keep the focus on today.... and today its all working out..... his recovery and mine.
What I need to remember always.... is that my fiance is an Alcoholic.... for him to stay sober he has to work his program. If I can not deal with that, then I have no business being in this relationship. BUT... it is his program that helps him be who he is .... and I would much rather be with who he is today, working his program, then with anyone else in the world..... His program helps him be who I love.