Originally Posted by
TakingCharge999 
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The person that did all the bad deeds was HIM... she is just someone in for a ride buying all his BS and his lies. I imagined how it would be like to live in your bf's room, and share home with 2 other guys you don't know, and have them look down on you because you do not pay anything and they are the ones paying for all the services... not to have a car and be able to say "hey, I feel like going to Puerto Vallarta this weekend" or drive to the mall by yourself or go anywhere you want with your own friends... to wake up to an alcoholic, making plans for the future... to know that you can't make your bf angry or disagree with anything because you will be out without a car and a ride to your job and having to ask your estranged brother for a home again.... to earn little money..to have to walk to your bf's office knowing his ex is there and have him parade you infront of ppl that are also friends or know his ex... to have to meet him at his workplace because you do not have the keys to the place you sleep in... listening to his drunken snoring and not being able to sleep somewhere else... ANYWHERE.. not to mention be able to drink as much as your guy, I mean what with the numerous affections for women drinkers... how is that something GOOD?
I am writing this from my own king size bed where I wake up to a good guy... i take my keys and close MY door... i start the engine of MY car.. i travel and drive anywhere and put MY music and call anyone and can have anyone stay with me... I manage my finances... I can look for and take any class I am interested in...
How could I ever envy HER? Envy WHAT EXACTLY?
I noticed I am living in heaven and took for granted so many things.. I could never ever live that way..without FREEDOM... without a CHOICE.. I can imagine her tired wanting to go home a Sat night while he is at his second jack daniels bottle with his drinking "friends", acting like a jerk and ignoring her... then being disrespectful in intimate moments...
i can TOTALLY relate to this. i gave up my entire life to move to be with my xabf. no friends, no family, no car, no job, no burning desire for alcohol or weed as a crutch to get me through my days...and as it turns out not even a stable, loving boyfriend, for whom i moved thousands of miles. i felt completely alone and isolated.
now i'm back with friends and family, i can get in my OWN CAR and go to my OWN JOB that i got for myself, and even though it doesn't pay much i earned it for MYSELF. i don't have to worry any more if i'll have to sleep at whoever's house we're at b/c xabf has finished a bottle of vodka and is slurring and stumbling, on the brink of a passout. and i no longer have to deal with being disrespected and verbally and emotionally abused and abandoned.
it's nice to be able to take control of your life again. once you go without it's really easy to pinpoint what you took advantage of. going forward, that's one of the things i'm trying to work on.
i also understand the envy though. my xabf is out of the country for work so we've kind of had a forced "no contact" thing, but i'm fearful for when he gets back. i'm sure another enabler is just around the corner. but just remember that she's not getting anything better than what we got. just more of the same nonsense, and we deserve better than that. a lot better!