It took an extreme amount of courage for you to dump out those beers felly! I'm very very proud of you, you're very very brave. If this ever happens again you now KNOW that you don't have to play the tape all the way through to the 'inevitable' conclusion of drinking ALL of the beer and possibly really hurting yourself. I think it's wonderful that you're realizing that you stripped barriers from the moment you found out your parents were going away. I would suggest you write down exactly all the the flags you missed, and then write down some ways you can combat them next time. I think you're progressing enormously with your recovery, don't stop at this victory, drive the battle home while you have the advantage, write write WRITE while this is all still fresh in your mind. Just get it down, you don't have to do anything with it until later, but you'll have it when you are ready. ((((((((Felly)))))))) We all love you so much. Please keep posting and digest this with us. <3