My last time coming in sounded much like yours - no theatrics, no anger - I'm just done. True surrender felt that way to me... peaceful. I hope that is where you are.
When I finally saw the truth for what is was (that I could not successfully drink or use) without my emotions clouding it, I became free to take the first step and truly recover.
Pray for surrender, willingness, and teachability. It worked for me, and it is still working so I am not going to stop.
Welcome ((HUG)) and keep coming back.