adore79

Well I remember thinking the second my parents told me that they would be leaving for a week that that would be the perfect time to drink. But I didnt think much more of it other than that.

Then, a few days later it occured to me again, that I could drink on Friday and have the whole weekend for the alcohol to dissapear from my system in case I had a drug test on monday or tuesday. But again, I wasnt seriously planning it, it was just a passing thought or so I thought.

Then on friday I went to town to go to a meeting but first I went to radio shack to see if they had a graphics card for my computer that I desperately wanted, but they didnt. That is when the cravings hit full force and it was like there was nothing going to stop me from drinking. Even before going into radio shack I wasnt thinking of drinking.

But it was like my friend said, over the past week I had been taking down barriers slowly, allowing thoughts of drinking to by without rationalizing them out or identifying them as red flags so when there was an opportunity to drink I went for it.

Next time I will try harder and pay attention to EVERY drinking thought I have, rationalize it, and flag it as a possible indication that relapse may be coming and I have to be on extra alert.