As a moment of feeling good about myself: I fought the urge to buy a bottle of wine on my way home from the movies last night. (I saw The Ugly Truth, which was HILARIOUS, btw. A must see it).
What I found interesting was the internal dialogue that happened as I battled through it all:
ME1: I just want one glass. I'll buy a bottle, pour a glass, and then pour out the bottle.
ME2: You know you won't do that. So, if you just want ONE glass, stop at a bar/restaurant, have a glass of wine and go home.
ME1: I don't really want to do that.
ME2: So... you can have a glass of wine at home by yourself, but not have a glass of wine by yourself in a public place? (Both Me1 and Me2 are still stunned by that thought)
ME1: I just don't feel like stopping.
ME2: Do you really want a glass of wine?
ME1: It seems like I do...
ME2: Just think how good you will feel about yourself tomorrow if you DON'T have a glass of wine. Think how you will feel about yourself if you do cave in and have one. Even if it is just one. Which way would you rather feel?
Now mind you, this little internal argument got me all the way home. I was royally irritated, too. I stood in my kitchen and said to God, over and over again, "thank you, thank you, thank you for the strength in this moment to get over myself and just go to bed."
Not that I really wanted to go to bed at 10 p.m. on a Friday, but I was getting sleepy, and I did fall asleep around 11 during a show I really did get interested in, which was a great distraction.
This morning was the first morning in a while that I woke up in a bad mood. Then I realized I fell asleep before I had done my evening meditation. So I am now off to meditate, work out, and then clean my house.
