Originally Posted by
tiburon88 
I believe AA made me feel more of a failure than I already do. So in a way, yes AA increased my drinking. My doctor knows that I'm an addict but prescribed an addicting benzo anyway? Where is my responsibility in all this? I'm not sure as I suffer from a chronic disease. I suffer two actually alcoholism and bi-polar.
Of course no one on SR has EVER inquired as to how my mental illness situation is going. I suffered mental illness BEFORE I ever picked up a drink. I guess I really am terminally unique.
Mr. Tiburon
Why was I expecting this post at sometime?
So its not your fault you are drinking to excess and popping pills?
Why did AA make you feel like a failure? Did you fully engage in their programme? Did you do the 12 steps? Did you share with others, pick up the phone when you needed support? Ask for help? Or did you feel that the effort was far too hard, and just drank?
As for your doctor prescribing you your pills. Ok he prescribes them, but does he make you take them? Or do you make that choice? Why not stand up and tell the doctor that you don't want him to prescribe you addictful tablets anymore and would prefer to use some other form of treatment? Or would that be putting the responsibility on you?
You claim to have bi-polar, well so do many people who are addicts, and so do many people who WERE addicts. Having bi-polar does not negate your responsibility for yourself, and blaming the disease for your addiction insults many of us who have chronic mental health conditions but are making positive changes in our lives.
I get the impression that you would like a quick fix solution to your addictions, one that means you have to put minimal effort in, and one that puts all the responsibility on someone else, in your case you say you would like a pill that cures your addiction and therefore puts the responsibility for your recovery on the provider. Or maybe you enjoy being an addict and a victim, and you are comfortable there.
Maybe its about time you took stock of what your responsibility in your addiction is, decided if you want to put the hard work in and then acted accordingly.
Or maybe I am wrong, eh?