Mom of 2 little ones and Wife of a alcoholic - Need advice.
Hello, I have been married for almost 7 years and have to young children (14months old and a 3 1/2 year old). My husband is in his terms a "funcitional alcoholic". He isn't abusive physically. I don't know if I can say if he is or isn't mentally. For the past 7 years his problem with drinking has progressed. He went from drinking a few nights a week 4-6 beers to know drinking 7 days a week 8-12 beers.
I started going to counsleing on my own to try and become healthy. I have made great improvement, but at this poing I am at a standstill. I am at the point where I have to make the descison to either tell him he has to choose, it's either his drinking or me and the kids. What really pushed me to this point is my concern for the impact it is making on the children. They see him drink every night. They are going to grow up thinking it is the norm. JUST AS MY HUSBAND DID...HIS DAD DRINKS EVERY NIGHT TOO!
Our typical day is he comes home from work, helps with dinner, and kids, while already drinking a beer (he usually starts drinking as soon as he gets home). Once dinner is over he sits down in his recliner drinks and watches TV until he either goes to bed or passes out in his recliner. He usually falls asleep with a beer in his hand that I have to take so he doesn't spill it. There are other times he goes straight to the neighbors drinks a few with them and then comes home and does the same routine of drinking in the recliner, or he might go to the bar for a few (going to the bar isn't as common). He seems to prefer to drink at home.
I've approached him about his drinking several times and his response is "deal with it or leave me"
He also thinks that since he is "funcitonal" meaning: he gets up, goes to work, has a house, and takes care of the "basics" he is fine. He says his dad does the same thing and he has a good job, nice house, boat...So he says it isn't that big of a deal.
I feel diferently.
I guess why I am tyeping this is I really need to have someones imput that is going through or has went through a similar situatiion. I have talked to my counsler and girlfriends about it, but it's hard for them to understand because they are not in the situation. One of my best friends reccommend I joing a support group online...so this is what I am trying.
Anyone out there have info or advice? I'd really apprecite it.