Oh, Sweetie, that's awful.
I'm really glad you've stopped cutting but so sad this has happened to you.
1] nothing that happened is your fault no matter what he says or did, ok!
2] My fiance raped me 2 weeks ago so I know exactly how you feel right now, you are not alone.
3] It is so good that you have been able to tell us about it, have you/can you tell anyone else, it's nothing to be ashamed of and you need help and support right now.
4] No-one will judge you or force you to go to the police, that is your choice.
5] I talked to a rape crisis center, they are there to help women who have been sexually assaulted or raped, it helped me. I strongly suggest you contact one in your area, it will be completely confidential.
I've been raped 3 times and have posted a thread about it looking for support, if you want to read it, and most importantly, don't think it will upset you check out 'Raped? Wings Torn Again' in the newcomers forum'. Sorry don't know how to post a link, it may be in new posts though.
Do you want me to PM you so you can talk about it with me in private?
Let me know
Much love and understanding,
Kel xx