It's not so much a drink at my wedding. I don't care if I toast with water. I just don't want this to be a "secret" anymore or something that they would find out about from his family or friends. The problem is that my mom believes that if I have a drop to drink I'll go back to where I was. (Background: I started drinking casually at age 25 and not before and then 2007 I used it as a crutch which turned into major trouble and I even went ahead and agreed when my family called me an alcoholic). I'm thinking of mentioning it in a casual setting and in a casual way.
For example, if she mentions the wine again for the wedding I could just say "You know things have turned around for me completely since 2007 and I'm very happy. I do enjoy a glass of wine with dinner now and then but it's not a crutch or something I do when I'm depressed, etc." My concern is that she'll go off the deep end and say "But you were/are in AA and you cannot have one drink!"