Hi everyone. Just an update. As some of you may remember my addict is my daughter. About a month ago I asked her to leave. And altho it has been a struggle for me to keep her out of my life I am trying to get better. So this is not a post about her but about me.
I have been on here reading, I have been going to meetings and I have been doing some serious soul searching. What do I want for my life, where do I want to be? I don't know exactly what I want, but I do know what I don't want. I don't want to be on this roller coaster anymore. I keep picturing a hula-hoop and try to keep throwing out what doesn't belong in it. I don't always manage to do that. But I am trying.
It amazes me that God gives me what I need when I need it. Although I don't always realize it at the time. He has brought a very special person back into my life when I needed it. He was my high school sweetheart 30 years ago. I got on my email one day about a month ago and there was a message from him. We have been talking ever since. He has made me see that I do not have to be unhappy. Whenever I am unhappy, he acknowledges it and then asks, "So, what made you happy today, tell me about that." He has made me look at the positive side of things when for so long I always looked for the negative, there are positive sides to my life, I have just forgotten to look.
I am smiling more, crying less and I consider that a big accomplishment. I don't have all the answers, nor am I supposed to. I am trying to turn my thoughts to what I want, not what everybody else wants from me. And for today, I am trying to make my life just that, my life.
Gotahavfaith
