KimmyG

So... I'm a social drinker who in the last 6 months or so only drinks on the weekends for the most part (the year prior to that, I was out often during the week and drank app. 5 nights a week).

Since about May, I have began experiencing terrible mood swings and abusiveness (in words, not physically) to my boyfriend and roommate when drinking. I've never been this way before. I just tend to get very sassy and if something happens to hurt my feelings or I'm not all that pleased with I snap and say nasty things that if I were sober I would usually not say anything at all or try and approach them in a more appropriate manner. Last night, this blew up in my face and I had to deal with it and realize that without the alcohol I'm a wonderful friend and according to my boyfriend, an amazing partner.

Is this just what my drinking has escalated to or is there some other issues that I need to deal with, so that I won't act irrational while drinking?

A little back story... My roommate has bouts of depression and sadness at times and can be very crude to me and hard to be around at times. Other times, she's like my sister, my best friend, my everything. Normally, when she acts ugly to me, I blow it off and chalk it up to her being upset with herself, not me. Sometimes I think that when I drink is the only time I am truly comfortable with confronting the issues at hand, but in the total wrong way. And my boyfriend, well we have the most perfect relationship with each other and never ever argue or have disagreements, but he is gone on the rode a lot and I miss him terribly and feel I resent him sometimes for not being with me although I'm so proud of what he's doing while he's gone and want him to live his dreams.... Just feelings I have that I don't deal with on a regular basis.

So, the whole point of this really is, am I handling my sober life wrong which is forcing me to act out while drinking OR has this just become who I am when I drink?

Thank you all for taking time to read this and I hope it makes sense.