Lies I am so happy for you that you have gotten to this point. Its like an uphill battle. This is REALLY hard.......
I also am reassured by your post because sometimes things happen in my life that I get upset about or something happens and it brings up all of those yucky feelings and I start to get ALL freaked out. Then I tell myself to STOP. Before I do ANYTHING or say ANYTHING I PROCESS what I am feeling. I ask myself questions. Like, why do you feel this way or what is causing you to feel this way. I examine it or sometimes I VENT but I get it out and then I realize about 99% of the time that its all of the same patterns from before. Then I set about changing it or releasing it and letting it go.
THAT IS HARD ASS WORK. It takes ALOT of control and ALOT of tools but it is possible. Your post proves it. I know this is gonna sound weird but really recovery is FUN. I am a fixer by nature (NO KIDDING CODIE) and I am FINALLY learn how to fix MY bs and it feels great.......
Thanks for sharing and showing us your recovery process.....