Originally Posted by haggard

hi all. im new here today, and this feels a little weird, but i desperately need to get alcohol out of my life...
i went through a bad time a couple of years ago and that was when i started drinking to escape my problems, drinking made coping with things easier and now drinking daily has become as natural to me as getting up in the morning.
today i have a hangover, but my first thought on waking was the last bit of wine left in the bottle, i know im going to go and have it in a minute but i hate it.
i got off the drink for a few months a few years ago, but this was only because i found a new addiction to things a little harder than alcohol. since kicking that addicition the alcohol addiction has come back, and before that it was an addiction to food. its as if i have to have an addiction. i wish i was just a normal person, but even when i try my hardest and pretend im enjoying a nice cup of coffee i know ill always be an alcoholic, and ill always wish that i was holding an ice cold gin and tonic instead.

i cant imagine a life without alcohol, it scares me, but i think im going to end up killing myself and that scares me even more.