Yea, its tough. Youy have my sympathy. We try to be sober and strong in our recovery, then life interfers. All I know is that drinking never solved anyone's problems, cleaned up anyone's mess, or made the bad, hurtful, scarey things in life go away. My wife and I are in the middle of sepaqration and I have my l;ittle apartment now. I could sit in it, close the blinds and drink myself into oblivion but it would not provide one positive thing, only false, deadly eascape. I feel lonely, hurt scared, angry, confused, but I feel--that's what alcohol stole from me. Thank God I feel and thank God I'm sober. My best to you.