Thanks Nikki. I have been trying to take good care of myself. I like to come back here when I am having a weak moment
. I am slowly doing better, realizing even if I did "get her" back into a relationship it is probably not really what I'd want. I am probably more wrapped up in helping her, curing her, or just winning her affection than I am the actual person.... I don;t really want to hurt her, she is hurting enough on her own. I don't think she hurt me intentionally...she ws just doing "the best she could" with the skills she has (which sadly are not very much).
My girl also was VERY good at putting a false foot forward. I think addicts, and people from dysfunctional families learn to hide, fake, and appear very different then they are. My girl once said she wishes she was more honest but she was afraid that I would not have accpeted her. Truth is, she is probablly right. They know that. I think with the dysfunctional upbringing she learned at an early age to hide things, be manipulative to get what she wanted, or needed.
Fair? No. Reality, yes. In a way I got suckered by her hiding truths (but it is all she knows, it IS how she lives...right or wrong, it is her current skill set)...and then once I saw the truth I choose to stay and try and change it, help her change, make it better, save the day.....and my fantasy...