Oh I am glad I read more, it sounds like you know you are making up stories, and that is what the ego loves to do, is make up stories so you can sit in victimland and feel rotten about your life and the world and everyone around you.
It is challenging in the begining to change your thinking patterns. I always noticed how when I first attempt to change a cycle of thoughts, my ego steps in and gets even louder...it just does not like change. No matter how miserable we happen to be, it is what the ego knows and feels comfortable with.
Hang inthere, and every time you catch your ego making up stories, simply start talking out loud about what you are doing in the moment. This actually helps nudge the needle on the record player in your head....:-)
Much love and light to you!~Cheryl