Originally Posted by
dabears34 
I'm deep into a relapse right now. I was good for awhile, but right now all I can think about is booze, booze and more booze. It's 2:45 in the am, and I was desperately calling/searching for a place that sells beer/liquor/anything late night... with no luck. The only thing that can calm me down enough to possibly sleep is the comfort that in a few hours I can find a place that sells. It's ****** up, the addict version of myself is high and tall and running the show the past week. How the **** do I talk him out of it??? He's winning, winning, winning... where are you, rationale? sober thinking? non-boozehound person? I will attempt to sleep. I'm wracked with desire and pissed I cant find booze right now. Thankful for this board....
Mike
"I was good for awhile." That struck me. Are we really "bad" when we
give in to our addictions? If that is true than I have spent more than half my life being "bad".
I don't think it is a question of
you being good or bad but rather your choices being good or bad. Remember that those choices are fueled by a horrible illness.
God bless you. Look at how you are reaching out. That is so important.