From the point of being there so many many times, I have to tell you...you will know when to give up!. It wont be when you think it will, it wont be when others want it too, and things that may happen on and off in the meantime could become so horrifying you'll never ever be able to express the words... but you'll know when its time to give up.
It likely wont even be the first, third or tenth time you say your giving up or your done, just like their puzzling addiction and seemingly out of the blue desire to use once again, but one day it ends. Through the years Ive talked to so many who held on so long, waited through jail time ect...but one day its over and everything just seems right.
After struggling for 6 years and dealing with all possibly you can deal with, with and addict and alcoholic and leaving many times, and saying i wouldnt leave again till it was really over, I collapsed on the couch and prayed incessantly probably the most sincerest I ever really had to God(who is my HP) that I surrender, I cant change things, couldnt even control myself and told God I was handing it over to him and not gonna take the problem back. That was 10 days ago...exactly 7 days later I got a call from an officer that he was being arrested on some HORRIFIC charges that if the justice system finds to be true he will be gone many many many many years. I have to tell you as much as I love my husband I was relieved in so many ways. I acted elated for atleast the first 6 hours as I danced in the front yard ( i really did). In the few dances since Im not gonna tell you it hasnt been difficult adjusting and will be for a long time.
When you are finally able to completely surrender things work themselves out.
In my situation, I cant tell you what tomorrow will bring, but I can tell you the healthier you/and I become mentally and emotionally the less chance you'll find yourself with an "ill" person.
Welcome to SR