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Originally Posted by
hotcheeto 
I'm just sick of it because once the alcohol fades he is back to his old self, begging me for forgiveness, wanting things to be back the way they were and I forgive but forgetting is hard when its a repeated cycle EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND and sometimes even on weekdays.
This part jumped out at me as I was reading. One big "lightbulb" moment in my recovery was when I found out what forgiveness meant. I wish I knew where I read this or heard it:
"You're only allowed to forgive someone if you cannot continue to be hurt by what they did."
It is perfectly okay to be hurt by someone, but what this person meant is that the level of hurt will not increase anymore. There are things that can easily be forgiven, but there are some things that require work to truly forgive. I know there's a lot of things in my life that I haven't forgiven yet because every once in a while I will let it replay in my head and it will bring me down.
If you apply this to your case, he's doing similar things over and over again which is hurting you over and over again.
Let's think of a pretend situation where you aren't allowed to forgive him when he's begging for validation and love when he's sober again. What would you say?
- It's okay (Is it okay, do you accept this behavior?)
- Don't worry about it (Chances are, he's not worried anyways)
- ???