Hi cheeto,
It appears that you are just as addicted to him -- to his drama, to being his savior, to this (forgive me) twisted version of what a 'good friend' is supposed to do -- as he is to alcohol.
It's okay. We've all ridden that crazy train.
The astonishing thing is that you can step off the crazy train any time you want. Honest you can...it's like a prison without doors. But there's a catch: First you have to want to be happy MORE than you want to save him from his own lousy choices. Just like he'd have to detox from his drug of choice, you'd have to be serious enough to detox from him.
Do you really want to put your life first? Are you ready to do that? What are you getting out of this situation, besides having every aspect of your life invaded by someone who is perfectly capable of getting help for himself, but refuses to do so?
A good start on this road might be to read through the Stickie posts at the very top of the forum, and you will see that his behavior is very, very, very common for an alcoholic who has a willing person enabling him. He has no reason to change. Why should he? He has you at his beck and call, jerking you back and forth whenever he wants.
Al-Anon meetings have helped a lot of folks too, to see their part in the rollercoaster of chaos, and lots of us have read the book Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, which is super-helpful in showing us why we have these behavior patterns, how to see what we're doing to ourselves, and how to knock it off
You deserve more than this. Aside from the fact that, if a beloved relative or girlfriend came to you with this story, I doubt whether you'd call that a
friendship in any sense of the word - really, what you appear to be is a hostage. Again - been there, still got the keychain for sure, so no criticism from here...just observation.
I'm glad you found us - we're good at nudging people toward what they deserve, as opposed to what they've settled for
Welcome!!