Originally Posted by
haggard 
i know ill always be an alcoholic, and ill always wish that i was holding an ice cold gin and tonic instead.
The first part about always being an alcoholic may be true. The second part about always wishing for a drink doesn't have to be true at all.
I'm an alcoholic. I don't belive that will ever change, and I don't suffer from any delusions that I'll ever be able to safely drink alcohol. That thought alone was horrifying and scary when I got sober. But the reality of my experience in recovery is that I haven't wished for a drink in a long time.
Alcohol had a sort of irrational hold on me. It didn't make any sense given the harm it caused in my life. But I lusted for it. That's how it felt. Uncontrollable lust.
Today, through recovery in AA, alcohol stirs no lust in me. I am neither fighting it nor avoiding temptation. The problem doesn't exist for me.
I've found that this freedom from bondage is avaliable to all those who sincerely want it, and are willing to make the effort.