There are a few NA meetings that I go to that make me feel very uncomfortable. I am what I have termed as a "high functioning addict" if that makes any sense. I get out of bed, do my hair, my nails, throw on some cute jeans and a top, lace up my sandals and pretty much look like a soccer mom with fashion sense. LOL I go to the meetings...and I see people who are so torn up and forelorn that it makes me wonder indeed why I am there. I can tell that they look at me differently. Some of these people are clean longer than I am, too. Also working against me is the fact that I am a nurse. I feel like I have no business doing anything but attempting to help these people...when I am actually there to help myself. It's very difficult. But, I can't dress down to make myself look sick just to play a role there. That's not what I am supposed to be doing. I am supposed to be there, recovering, like everyone else is. I find myself putting WAY Too much thought into what everyone else there must think when they see me.
I've learned to put that on the backburner, especially with my home group meeting. They understand who I am now. It's just the other random meetings that I go to give me that uncomfortable feeling again...
I understand where you are coming from.
All that in mind, however, this is your recovery. You can't judge what is going on in a waiting room. Your story is not going to be everyone else's story. We aren't going there to compare war stories and find out who is sicker than who. We are going there to get and stay clean. That is what you need to keep at the forefront of your mind.