Numb Founded
I’ve posted many a times here regarding my 42 years old AS, who stills lives at home with enabling Mom. The last post revolved around argument with Mom about not leaving my 5 year old granddaughter alone with sister under any circumstances. Well of course that went over real well and sis went on bender because I’m such an a**hole and that she has been sober for a long time (like 2 weeks). Of course, the bender just shows how she will use any excuse to start drinking again and not admit it is an addiction.
Last night, I got a call from Mom. I’ve been staying away from home and keeping contact to minimum, since I’m basically being blamed for sister’s last binge, nothing to do with her being alcoholic and nobody else wanting to accept THAT fact. You know what, it makes my life less stressful and I know my granddaughter is safe with my Mom and sister is usually working when she is over there. Seems that my sister is back in hospital with a similar episode as in February when we had to call ambulance after she was basically bleeding out from burning out her esophagus. Her blood sugar was at a dangerous level and she was severely dehydrated. Of course, for about 5 days, she just kept telling Mom she had flu and locked herself away in room, stating she was getting “better”. Of course, she has been drinking and Mom found a couple of empty pints in her car, but nothing in her usual hiding spot. I told Mom to look in basement and of course, then she found the bevy of empty liter bottles. Of course, Mom keeps stating how she has been doing so good, watching her diabetes, going to AA, and seeing a counselor to boot. She just doesn’t see it or wants to see it. I saw sister last weekend at family function and to me, she looked sober, but was pale and I think she was just staying sober for appearances till she got back home.
I guess why I’m posting about this latest episode is that while my Mom was telling me everything, I just calmly took it in, didn’t really offer my opinion, and wasn’t as upset as I’ve gotten in past. I told Mom I will not go to hospital to visit, that it is a waste of time anyway. She didn’t die again this time, I just wonder how many more times of a few weeks of sobriety, binge, bleed, hospital visit, more anguish for my Mom, that she will probably kill herself. I gave up on showing Mom how she is still enabling her, she just doesn’t see it that way and I don’t want to fight. Mom understands she can’t control or cure this, but she also is not helping by babying her either.
I just said a prayer for my sister and hope to God that this will be her rock bottom, but I don’t think so. Every time I’ve brought up having her go to a 30 day rehab, to fully dry out and start working on her mental and physical health, the idea is pooh-poohed, sis says she learned her lesson (we’ll see what she says this time) and is ready to stop, though she still will not say she has a drinking problem, which is the number one start to finding sobriety I believe. I don’t know how many more times she can go through this.
Really, I’m kind of at peace with this, but would like to ask all of your for a quick prayer on her behalf to help find the guidance and strength to finally get help. I know it is out of my hands and I have a feeling if she doesn’t do it this time, she may be dead within the year. Thank you all for your support and letting me get this off my chest.