18 days sober, i cant cope!
I went into a treatment centre for 16 days and completed my time there, it was tough i was tempted to walk out after a week but i stuck with it. I have been out of rehab for 3days now. Problem is although i have not had a drink for a long time, i still feel physically and mentally unwell. If anything some of my non related drink problems have come back worse because alot of my problems were being numbed by alcohol. I dont know what to do i feel so depressed. When i come out of treatment centre i had no energy and its been a real struggle to even get out for a 20 minute walk. I thought i would be feeling alot better by now. I went to my first aa meeting since leaving treatment earlier today, its hard so hard. I have completly screwed the past 2/3 years of my life up dropped uni quit my job, stopped sociallizing and going out basically become abit of a recluse.
I have very low self esteem and get anxiety bad. The mental problems i have is preventing me from even seeking help, i have numbers from aa which i cant bring myself to ring. Im so lost. There is this part of my brain trying to trick me into drinking again. Who knows i may be able to drink reasonable amounts, but its like roulette if i pick up a drink again i could end up in a treatment centre x amount of months/years down the line again. I can control drinking alot of the time but eventually it does catch up with me.