I am glad you found us here!!
I would think very carefully about making future plans with someone who is in active addiction, and who lies and steals - no matter what his motives.
Being nonjudgmental - "who am i to judge him?" - has ended up with some of our members going through twenty years of hell. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with judgment. It's how we make the decisions that are best for us. "Do I want to wrap my entire life around someone who drinks, does pills, steals from me, and lies to me?"
"No" is a perfectly good response to that question. You seem to still be in the stage where you're making excuses for his behavior - at your own expense.
As adult children of addicts, we (you and I and others) are particularly vulnerable to our mind latching onto anyone who we think accepts us as we are, and also are drawn to people who mirror the addictive chaos of our families of origin. You're comfortable with this, on some level. It's what you've known, so it seems normal and good.
Al-Anon, SoberRecovery, and a good counselor helped me to step out of the rose-colored glasses of "love" and see what I was setting myself up for, and I'll be forever grateful for them for that.
I hope you can find a way to take off those glasses for a moment and see what you are about to walk into. Please do read around here on the forum and read peoples' stories. You'll find that many of them are similar to yours, and you will probably say, "Yes, but he's DIFFERENT...he's WONDERFUL..." Which is what we all said too.
Take care of yourself, and check out an Al-Anon meeting or two or fifty
