[QUOTE=Callie;2306855]Alaia, I personally do not believe that just because a person is an addict or alcoholic, or even because they cheat on you, that it is proof that they do not love you or that they do not care about you. No, cheating on you, using you, taking advantage of you, all the crappy things they "do to us" are not loving or caring behaviors. But loving you and caring about you are FEELINGS. I have only this past year learned to know there is a difference between what they DO and how they FEEL. I am certain that this man loved you and cared about you, just as I am certain that all my ex'es including the addicts, loved and cared about me. MY DAD loves and cares about me beyond any doubt and he has always been alcoholic and he did some crappy things and neglected a lot of the things that we needed as kids. And the last addict in my life who you and I have been talking about loves me and cares about me, I have no doubt. But he is not able to change his behavior to match his feelings.
For ME what drew him above and beyond the other successful boys/boyfriends FOR ME was the fact that he was unattainable prior to ME. I got him - I 'saved him'. "I was the one that "got to his heart." The one who escalated all others. Sick isn't it. I see it now.