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Old 07-23-2009, 04:20 AM
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Ann
Nature Girl
 
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome to SR, LoStrass.

Addicts in recovery learn to take their sobriety and life one day at a time because by focusing on today, they can let go of the regret of yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. I've learned that this is a pretty good way to live life anyway, regardless of our circumstance.

One year is very good, but also still somewhat new to recovery. That he is working in a halfway house may be a good way for him to surround himself with others who are clean and help him work his program. I hope so.

My thoughts are to take this slow, keep your heart and mind open and, knowing the risks, take this relationship one day at a time too. Your gut will tell you if there are red flags, and most of us here have learned to trust our gut...but that doesn't mean we have to live in fear of their choices, but more that we have boundaries on what is acceptable in our lives and what is not.

Al-Anon meetings may be very helpful to you. The 12 Step program is a wonderful way to learn to live our lives better and make healthy choices, regardless of what brought us there. Why not give them a try and see if they don't help you too. I say "them" because it may take several meetings, even different meetings because they vary, before you decide if this is a good program for you. Meetings saved my life, literally, so I am a big advocate of at least giving them a try and making a commitment to stick around long enough to see if you connect.

Make yourself comfortable here, take a read around and you will see that addiction is a disease that affects all who love an addict. Knowing our experience may help you better to set boundaries for yourself and keep yourself in a safe and healthy place in this relationship, regardless of how it goes.

Again, I am glad you joined us and hope we can offer some experience, strength and hope for you.

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