Hmmmmm....
For me, the REAL fear is not that she doesn't want to be with me...but that I am not lovable, not good enough, etc. After all...haven't we invested every ounce of ourselves in "making" these relationships work? If that isn't good enough...and we are rejected by this other person....we fear that we don't have enough to give anyone.
THAT is REAL fear.
And it is irrational.
We are basing our worth, our lovability, our sense of wholeness on the acceptance of another human being...who has their own will, wants, needs, desires, issues, etc.
Unfortunately for me, I've ingrained this thought pattern so much that it is going to take A LOT of work and help to change. Even knowing the above, every perceived rejection turns into "See, Brian...you really do SUCK!" in my head.
Its maddening. I'm wearing a rubber band around my wrist right now that I snap whenever I recognize negative thoughts like that. I think I might have a permanent red mark by the end of the week!
