Originally Posted by
Still Waters 
Rachel,
I'm not an alcoholic/addict, I'm normally in the Friends and Family forum, but I wanted to say this:
You ARE on the right track. Why? Because you are asking questions and digging around inside yourself in an attempt to make a better life for yourself.
My AH was sober when I left him, but he never did any digging or asking, you see - he had all the answers. Always did. Still does.
The feeling that washed over me reading your post brought tears to my eyes, the emotions it brought on - the heartbreak of wishing so hard that my AH had had the strength to look and ask like you do. But, he didn't and that's that.
Hang in there Rachel
thanks for reaching out on that particular part of my share. i try to block out whats going on with him in the situation but its hard. i wish we could just hold hands and be in AA and live happily every after nice and sober
but apparently, its god will, not mine - i can't control everything like i'd like to.
everyone tells me i just need to worry about
my sobriety, which yes i know and can comprehend that..but it's like i care about someone so much, how do l just let them not help themselves to the extent they are supposed to be helping themselves. Me, always looking for the easy way out would SO MUCH RATHER have him with me doing this ya know, that's also maybe a big part of my feelings about being 'stuck' right now. hmmm
>>>EASY DOES IT <<<<
right now, i talk to him about how i'm feeling because well, im used to speaking to ppl now due to AA, and now that i'm not reaching out to my AA peeps - i speak to him, he fully supports me working the program and now seeing me struggle and so unhappy -he tells me 'rachel i hate seeing you like this, go to a meeting.'
i dunno, thank you though for reaching out on this part.