Rachel,
I'm not an alcoholic/addict, I'm normally in the Friends and Family forum, but I wanted to say this:
You ARE on the right track. Why? Because you are asking questions and digging around inside yourself in an attempt to make a better life for yourself.
My AH was sober when I left him, but he never did any digging or asking, you see - he had all the answers. Always did. Still does.
The feeling that washed over me reading your post brought tears to my eyes, the emotions it brought on - the heartbreak of wishing so hard that my AH had had the strength to look and ask like you do. But, he didn't and that's that.
Hang in there Rachel
